taozy

学生会将组织一次参加宏伟金箔集团公司（ ）的活动，时间定于7月20日，请于7月15日写一则通知：集合和出发的时间与地点：上午6：30在校门口集合，6：40准时出发
2、活动安排：8：00在礼堂听总经理介绍工厂的概况的报告；9：00参观生产的流水 线；11：00参观工会俱乐部，看产品展览；12：00在公司食堂用餐；13：00返回。notice
the students' union decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth July. we will meet at the skool gate 6:30 am. and start at exactly 6:40. we will listen to the report about the Corporation in the meeting room at 8:00,and visit the nanufacture at nine,and visit the cub at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition.Then we'll have our lunch at the canteen of companny at 12:00.We will come back at13:00.
that's all , thank you for attention.
the studets'union
15th,July

taozy

notice
the students' union decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth July. we will meet at the skool gate 6:30 am. and start at exactly 6:40. we will listen to the report about the Corporation in the meeting room at 8:00,and visit the nanufacture at nine,and visit the cub at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition.Then we'll have our lunch at the canteen of companny at 12:00.We will come back at13:00.
that's all , thank you for attention.
the studets'union
15th,July

taozy

写的不怎么样啊
有几个词用的不准确
你在改改

taozy

改的也不错，谢谢各位的attention
不过，我想说一点
首先，工厂的餐厅，学校的餐厅，是有它的英语形式，canteen,我没有写错，很地道的英语表达。
其次，生产流水线的翻译为production line 要地道一些
另外，请教一下，为什么notice改为notify

taozy

题目要求不是7月吗？我审题很认真啊

taozy

老大厉害。
简洁明了。
佩服！

taozy

真人不露象啊，斑竹！